I got bad news today.
I got bad news, right when woke up. With eyes full of sleep, and head full of fog, I got bad news.
It isn't something I didn't already know, but there seems to be a finality about it now. I though that I was hopeful. In reality I was...avoiding, maybe.
I woke up. I read a blog. My Grandpa is dying.
He's been sick. For more than a year, I have known that he has cancer. I remember the summer last year, my grandparents celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary. I remember the tears in the room, and my younger sisters not understanding why everyone was sad instead of happy. They didn't know. They didn't know that instead of counting the years that they had together, we were thinking of the mere months we may have left.
But the man is strong, and strong-willed. Through treatments, and weakness he was present...at soccer games and birthdays. He was tired, we could see it. but he was fighting.
Timelines have come and gone. Treatments have been given. Last I heard, the tumors weren't spreading. They were going to take a break from the chemo, let his body regain some stregnth.
But today, I woke up and read a blog. My Grandpa is dying. And I am angry.
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1 comments:
yay, for writing! I'm going to continue to try to write more too.. I think anger is healthy, maybe that is why I decided to start sharing my writing again, I was told in a work review that there is a perception of me by my staff that I show my stress too much.. after sitting and nodding, "oh, I wasn't aware".. my later reaction.. was "whatever, i am full of kindness and compassion, and if I do feel stress, good for me, I'm being human." So instead of breaking some windows or wallowing on the couch I decided to write.
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